Beyond the Boggled Mind

Ramblings of my boggled mind

Worried about nothing…

on May 2, 2013

My “weekend” aka the two day’s I’m off during the week. Was full of day dreaming, I would look at kaida and just smile and my mind would drift off to a different place of wondering how did I ever get so damn lucky to our future. Having our own place, a home, and careers we love.

When I was younger I remember thinking when I’m 30 I will have this, and be that. But it just didn’t happen that way. I’m 32 but I feel so much younger. Especially with Chris. I can feel the love he has for me, My mind tries to trick me sometimes because of depression or other things.

My heart tell’s me no it keeps me where I need to be. I’m at work now blogging because it’s slow right now and I have a lot more time here than at home to do things. Odd I know, but it seems I live at work. 8hrs out of 24 I’m here another hour for travel time to and from work. so 9 hours give or take so I have 15 hours at home, take away shower and sleep away and I have normally 7-9 hours before and after work total a day to do what I want.

what do I do, eat, play games and try and spend time with Chris. Off days we get a lot more time together and we go out to lunch normally. When we can we do more just depends on how we feel and how much money we have.

Lately we are saving as much as possible to get an apmt of our own. A nice two bedroom and two bath. A friend of his was trying to talk him in to letting her move in with us. I have major issues with this. I don’t want anyone to move in with us not when we haven’t even had a life alone together yet.

I know she needs someone but She’s already rubbed me wrong too much I don’t care how much medication she is taking to “help” her. I mean what if she decides not to take it or runs out or meds change. That’s just going to cause trouble for him and I.

Plus I know she likes chris and that’s fine because I know he is mine and isn’t going anywhere. Just I don’t want anyone moving in, if it came to it and it was my parents or his or the biker-rents, they are the only one’s Id make an exception for and even then I don’t really want to. I know living with or having others live with us would put a lot of stress on us even if they helped pay for bills.

we don’t have much stress in our relationship or in our life, and I want to keep it this way for as long as possible.

I’ve not really sit down and talked with him about her, I understand he feels sorry for her and I understand he wants to be there for her. But she’s old enough and has her own place she should be able to take care of herself or her s/o to do it.

I’m not trying to be cold or mean just I don’t want to lose what I have with him because of someone else.

I guess that’s all for right now I’m happy and I’m scared it will change.



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