Beyond the Boggled Mind

Ramblings of my boggled mind

Taking me home country roads.

on April 7, 2013

The 28th of March my mom called me, My grandma was in the hospital again this time they gave her 2 days at the most. Right off I told her I couldn’t make it, now that is normal for me, no money or couldn’t get off work or just my ex being his dick-weed self. Something was always stopping me from making it from where I was to where I needed to be.

Once off the phone, my boyfriend (chris) told me I was going basically for me to call my work and let them know I needed somedays off to get there before my grandmother passed away, and that he would take care of it.

It all seems like a blur to me now. He borrowed the money, got my tickets to leave out the 29th and come back a few days later. My boss was ok with it and gave me a week off for it.

Next thing I know I’m sitting in the car next to him thinking I don’t want to go see my grandmother die, I’m tired of seeing people I love die. This was my last living grandmother. I knew I needed to go and be there for mom, it is her mother, I felt she would be the one to take it the hardest. She was very close to memmaw.

Grandma had 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls. William was her first son (grandpa’s stepson) he passed away before I was born so I have only seen photos of him and heard stories of him.

My mom (eva) was her first daughter (grandpa’s step daughter). Mom has 4 kids no biological grandkids, only ones we claim from friends.

Mary her second daughter and grandpa’s first biological daughter. Has four children and seven grandkids ( sorry if I missed anyone) and no great-grandkids (yet).

Alan her second son and grandpa’s first biological son. Has no children of his own biologically, but does have a step-son and two step-grandkids.

ANYWAY! I didn’t mean to get carried away there but it’s just a little back story of my family. Mind you I have a lot and I mean a lot of great cousin’s, grate aunts, uncles and such on my mom’s side of the family. might not be biological but I don’t know my biological grandfather he passed before I was born as well, and I don’t believe I know more than names of that side of the family.

My memmaw was a wonderful woman, mother, grandmother, greatgrandmother, sister and more. She and pappaw has been together since they where 19! My head still can’t wrap arround it. I guess since I was born late in my mom’s life (at 26) I just assumed grandma had her kids at an older age as well.

I was getting on my plane the 29th when I checked my facebook one last time before I would be in KY. There in line waiting to get on the plane I found out I was too late, My grandma had passed away. I just started crying I couldn’t stop myself I didn’t want to cry in public I hate when anyone sees me cry and here I stood in the middle of the Houston Airport crying.

Finally in my seat looking out the window waiting and wanting to just hurry up and get to Lousville. Get this all done and over with I was late I wouldn’t see grandma alive again. I don’t remember getting off the plane or the layover in NC I just remember getting out of the airport and how cold it was.

I was so glad Chris told me to take a jacket. All I have are hoodies so I grabbed one and went on, not really considering spring in KY will be cold and it just had snowed around where I’d be 3 days ago.

My week went fast I talked and laughed with family, learning things about grandma I never knew, seeing old photos of her even as a teen and little girl. not many but a few and I loved the ones where her and grandpa are hugging or kissing. Total PDA! Have to love it when it’s tasteful. It went fast much faster than I thought it would go. I watched my brothers play games and hung out with mom and dad watching movies. I wished so many times chris was there with me. I missed him so much and I knew my family would love him.

I really think they already like him just for getting me there for grandma’s funeral. It might not be much to him but for my family and myself it’s so much more. I was happy to get back to TX though I had missed it, I missed chris, I missed jaeden and she missed me oh and yes chris missed me too. I missed work ( how odd is that). I missed everything and I was glad to be back in texas. That’s something I never thought I’d say, esp when most of my life I always said I’d never live in texas.

Let’s see this is getting long. I wanted to kind of get this out maybe I’ll read it again someday.

I miss you grandma but I know you are in a better place and not in pain anymore. I know Destinee is taking care of you now.

~always
R

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