Beyond the Boggled Mind

Ramblings of my boggled mind

New job

on February 1, 2013

I’m so nervous today, my 2nd day of work. I can’t shake it and mainly because it’s like it is all new to me. I hate that knowing I’ve worked in a hotel before for years and being back I’m a complete n00b in it. Plus everything is riding on this. I want to keep this job. Yes it is not the best job but I know I enjoy this kind of job. I’m scared they will think. Good god she can’t do this or think we can’t keep her she is too nervous. This job turning full time or getting a raise will be a good thing, I want to get used to this job and this location quicker than I can. I don’t want to let down Chris. We need this. Yes I wanted a job where I didn’t have to think right now but that’s not this job. I know I have to remember a lot of things I have to sell the rooms. It’s a bit annoying they want me to bargain and go down on the room to try and keep the customer. I understand that but damn I know I can’t keep every customer that calls or comes in. I will be able to keep the one that comes in better than on the phone. I just hope they will see that.

They stood over me and snuck up on me a lot yesterday, I hate that shit. It makes me feel weird. I’m sure everyone is like that. I’m trying hard not to forget things and not to mess up.  Right now I feel like “damn I wish I was a house keeper” it’s a brainless job, anyone can do that. Front desk isn’t much more but there is a lot riding on your shoulders. I just hope I do well today, to gain not only my confidence but show them I can do this. I know I can I have before; just my head is messed up so much was thrown at me in 4 hours yesterday. I hope I can remember and do right today.

I wish I was bilingual; I would have a chance for first shift someday then. I don’t see myself becoming first shift or anything higher than I am. I wouldn’t mind working 3rd when Chris does it would be a bit nicer I guess. But I know they have people for 3rd already. So I will be stuck on 3rd. I will be able to put him to bed, but not wake him up. We won’t have time together when we are both working but that little bit of morning time.

Well it’s getting closer to time for me to leave I have a little over 35 min before Richard will be taking me to work. That’s another thing I’m worried about. Driving myself to work and back. I hate being a burden to Richard and Bonita taking me back and forth to work. I hate that chrism is planning to pay for my car to be fixed and he bought me work clothing. I’m grateful for having such a wonderful man not only in my life but to call him mine. I’m a lucky lady.

He is seriously like no other guy I have dated or even played with. He is so different, I hope he knows how much I love him and that I’m so happy and grateful for him. Meagan fucked up, I know she knows that and everyone else does as well. I’m happy she fucked up.  I know that is bad and wrong of me but I am her fuck up was my gain and I will never fuck up and lose him. I want to be with him forever. Even after I pass on wherever our souls go, I know I will love him even then. I will never forget him. Even if we are reincarnated I truly believe I will remember and know him in that next life. He is my soul mate. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve never loved someone so deeply than him.

*sigh* I guess I need to finish up getting ready. Yuck. I will wright more when I return from work. Then post this.

OK my second day of training went better, I’m a bit more confidant in myself after today.  I’m off for a couple days and then Monday I go in for more training and as well as taking my car in to check it out see what’s  going  on with it and hopefully whatever needs done  it won’t be much money to fix it.

Chris had to go to work tonight; I miss him so much lately. Mainly because I know working will cut what little time we had in the evening nights he worked. I’m trying to keep in mind this is what needs to be done. It’s hard when more and more of our time is taken from us.

I’m glad I’m with him I love that he and I are together it makes everything all worth it. I love you Chris. I hope you are having a good night at work. I look forward to you cuddling to me and waking me in the morning. I love having your arms around me.

Always his angel



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