Beyond the Boggled Mind

Ramblings of my boggled mind

That’s Indiana, You should never go there simba…

on September 30, 2012

Some people look at my life and think, no job, live with parents, single. They think oh she has it made, or what a loser. What you do not see is me stressing about living with my parents I hate it, I feel like a failure and a burden, and no one understands that. They don’t see I HATE Indiana I do not want to stay here and I wont, or I’d get a meaningless job here, I’ve went to college I don’t want stuck in some factory, or some damn gas station or fast food place. Mind you there is nothing wrong with them jobs, but you have to see the main reason I’m staying jobless and that is I will not get stuck in Indiana, I’m not going to do it, I hate it here I always have. Really I look at austin/scott county as the “dark place” the elephant grave yard on lion king! NEVER GO THERE SIMBA!

Yes right now I am single, I’m going threw a divorce and it’s the best damn decision I have made in a long damn time. When I am ready to be with someone again I will. It is my choice I have had men ask me out and women for that matter. I’m not interested I want to get where I want to be right now.

Texas I have had job offers out the ass and have no way there right now I love that state, as well as I love cali, just cali has no fucking jobs where we are I’d have to travel an hour or more for a job and really they don’t pay that damn good so again no, and I don’t want in cali truly.

let’s see, no kids as well I’m happy with that I have soooo many “nieces and nephews” so to speak that is enough for me I’m happy being a god mother and auntie ray ray.

And I want to clear the air, I’m not back in indiana looking for my ex, I’m not playing “hard to get”. I AM hard to get and also I AM hard to keep.

I’m very happy right now but I know I can be happier. One day I hope very soon I will be where I want to be, I will be in a career not just some job, I will have a man who is good to me and know how to trust me, who will want me and think I am amazing. He will see and realize the person I am.

I will find the love of my life, I know I haven’t found that love I know I will find one day.

Some people don’t understand me, and that is fine. I don’t need you to. I have family, friends and that’s all I need. I have the most amazing parents, wonderful friends and yes a crazy family but they are mine and I love you all.

I have a best friend right now, he’s online he’s been going threw a rough time as well we understand each other and I’m so damn happy to have him in my life. I’ve known him much longer than most people are aware of. I’ve known him since 2004 there is a few years when we didn’t talk but as soon as we started talking again it was like that time never happened. Thank you Chris for being my rock lately. ~ always~ your rock.

I have other best friends who I have known basically all my life. Lyn, Sarah, Annie, Katie, Sami ( all their life too since they are younger), Domi and sorry anyone I’m missing. but thank you girls for standing beside me and talking with me threw all of the most hard time’s of my life, from fights with my ex husband, to my sister’s death, to now lies I’m glad you girls know better to believe, and a divorce. You were there for the good as well and I’m glad you are all in my life.

love always,



2 responses to “That’s Indiana, You should never go there simba…

  1. stuffykaida says:

    I will always be there for you. I love that you are my rock and I love being able to be your rock. I hope that you do find all the happiness that you want.

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